It’s pants time

By Neil Smith

You know it’s pants time when you’re standing in front of the osteopath in underpants that started life as a sensible cotton/lycra mix ‘short’ but now look like they were retrieved from the bag of rags you keep under the sink. Pants time (which often coincides with sock time) involves a visit to Marks and Spencer to check out the latest developments in underpant technology and an attempt to find a pair as comfortable as the ones you bought in 1995. Last ‘pants time’ I bought a couple of pairs featuring ‘Seamless-Microfibre-Technology-For-Extra-Comfort-And-Support’ which were neither comfortable nor supportive and created a requirement for frequent ‘adjustment’. This year’s pant breakthrough at Marks and Spencer is the curious ‘Keyhole fly’ which doesn’t seem to hold much appeal to the average (or larger than average) man. As far as I’m concerned pant technology reached its apex in 1999 with Marks and Spencer’s ‘Active’ range of lycra/polyamide mix ‘trunks’. There’s only so far pant technology can go, and I think it went there 15 years ago.